Waddup! I’m writing early today because ya boy has to bounce and make some dollars to keep this music thing going. So I decided before I left to get some words out and share the events of my weekend! In short I attended the Marvel Exhibit, Travy P’s EP launch, Oaklands II and a birthday party all in two days. However while I was chilling with my homie @mel.tothe.rose at @oaklandsbne a penny dropped, and I decided because I enjoy writing I would review the performance of the next artist to take the stage. That just so happened to be @Apemanshit.
To give you some back story, Apeman was the first guy I heard about who was making waves in Brisbane as a rapper. He runs a show on 4ZZZ (A Primate Evolved), works with an array of up and coming artists and releases his own music. The guy has helped me in a number of ways as I’ve started to make my entry into the scene and his set on Saturday proved why everybody should get to know Apeman.
Frankly I was messed up Saturday afternoon, there was very little energy inside of me that I was willing to use to wig out in this set since I’d attended Travy P’s gig earlier that morning. However, with strides of confidence Ape took to the stage and quickly assembled everyone around me front and centre. I joined in and tried to muster my energy as I prepared for the onslaught I knew had to follow. Sure enough, it wasn’t long before @tomtom.allg spun the decks and I literally witnessed a human transform into King Kong. B-a-n-a-n-a-s.
One thing I couldn’t help but admire as I bopped up and down feeling 110% legless, was the relentless commitment to his Ape image that merged seamlessly into his Electronic Punk Rap performance. No joke, it wasn’t the crowd that determined how he performed it was his performance that determined the actions of the crowd. He unapologetically did his thing, and the crowd stayed with him the whole way, through the mosh moments and all.
As an artist who also has an ‘image’ I definitely looked up to his delivery @oaklandsbne and felt that in terms of interaction I could learn a lot from the Ape. Being a Professor and all, studying is everything.
My fave track had to be Rocky Xit got me fired up the most.
If you’ve spotted this guy around BNE before holla!
– The Scene –
I’m in my room having just finished a lunch that consisted of a pre-made BLAT, handful of apricots, nuts and dried fruits with a freshly brewed cup of Chai Tea and water to my right. Air is cool, but the sun is radiating plenty of light.
– Complication –
I can’t help but think about the things on my mind for the day. I wrote them down, one item is writing this blog and the others include editing the Vlog, glueing my desk together, calling my mum, meditating and working on some of Chloe’s music. Lately I’ve been thinking in the future a bunch, predicting what my emotions may be and trying to live in the present through them. If I’m honest it keeps me on edge/anxious and out of the present.
I love making lists for my day, because it helps me stay on track with what matters most to me, but I catch myself not getting engulfed in the current item and trying to predict future emotions. It seems that I am attempting to tip toe through life and plan my emotions by how I structure my day, however I have no control over that. For example I might be at work and be thinking about what the future may hold when I finish. It may be some work when I get home and therefore I brace myself right then for the feelings I think I’m going to get from doing work at home, which hasn’t even came to be yet! I’m not even reacting to the life around me I’m reacting to the imaginary life that doesn’t exist. I must admit it’s frustrating and I think I tend to do this most when I feel like life in the moment gets tough.
– Partial Resolution –
Right now I can’t say I have a ‘cure’ or really that I’ve searched into it much, but something I am doing which raises my spirits in general is choosing to be grateful in every moment. I find that by doing this I have to be alert to what is actually going on in the world. For example I am right now grateful for the warm beverage that is keeping my goosebumps at bay, as well as my record player that is currently playing a ‘Disclosure’ album while I’m writing this. I’m also grateful for the incredibly comfortable chair I’m sitting in that keeps my back aligned. On top of this I have a full stomach from eating lunch which means I am more than able to survive 4+ days if I were to go without food. I’m grateful for the air that I can feel coming through my nostrils giving me life to continue writing also. Etc. The list could be endless but ultimately I think being grateful in the moment can help align me again with what is actually going on and back to focusing on what I’m working on in the present.
I believe that’s why mindfulness meditation can be such a winner too when I’m struggling with a mind full of mess! I know that I need it more than ever in these moments and have to remind myself, future living is impossible and cannot be controlled.
– Conclusion –
Really, I aim to share this small experience with you because I think mental health is not talked about enough, and also because it helps me to deal with my issues. If you find yourself feeling a similar way I’d love to know how you deal with it and if you’ve found any effective ways of dealing with it. Always keen to link up.
To me Coffee is a tasty beverage, it gives me a total energy kick and I lurv the ‘specialty’ culture behind it (not that I really know how to describe coffee culture). I enjoy drinking it in cafe’s, reading while having a coffee or writing music while having a coffee. My interest with it stemmed from when I had my first cup at age 8 or 9. I was on a couple acres of land with my friends grandparents most weekends while mum was at work and we would always stop for morning tea and lunch. I’m fond of those memories because that’s where I remember being introduced to black tea and on occasion instant Coffee. I was hooked! It definitely made my little body pump.
– Present Moment –
It’s that time again for coffee and fruit toast.
Today has been a small long black that’s got me totally buzzing! I have really been enjoying black coffee lately, which is funny because I always used to think it was hardcore, but seriously I don’t even need cream with my long black anymore. Just straight up Espresso and water baby. All last week I’ve had a short black each day and for anyone looking to get into coffee I would recommend trying it. Mainly because after a while you’ll start to notice the flavours of the espresso. When I used to read coffee descriptions that preached fruity citrus flavours with a hint of chocolate I was like waaaaah, I just taste bitter! But now I think I’ve gone full hipster mode and I can taste those subtleties better. Like I actually notice the difference between a single origin and a blend. It’s kinda cool, and really, I don’t have an urge to go back to my old standard the Flat White! Seriously milk based coffee just seems too underwhelming now, like I don’t get the coffee flavour coming through enough.
If you’ve never tried an espresso on it’s own, give it a go! Just remember to slurp it, that will make sure you get to taste the flavours better. Make it a real dirty slurp. Slurp it so much that the person opposite you in the cafe looks at you funny. If they do this, you’re in. Official hipster. Is hipster even a term anymore? I seriously don’t remember the last time I heard someone say Hipster. Moving on.
I’d like to add that I am committing to making one day of every week a coffee free day. Because I get ‘hooked’ it just kind of resets my tolerance, which means when I drink espresso again, I actually feel the effects and my body isn’t just always used to coffee. I will admit, there was a time in the year where I had 6 coffee’s in one day. I tell you now, it wasn’t pretty. Pass out on the lounge room floor kind of pretty. Plus when I woke I couldn’t stand the scrumptious taste of coffee for a good while. What a bummer.
So go hard! But watch out for the addictive side effects, some get it, some don’t…
I would definitely have to say Coffee is one of the things I love in life. I’m so grateful that it’s out there, but what’s more is sharing Coffee with friends. Coffee by yourself is cool, but it’s always going to be about who you share the experience with.
Man. It’s felt like ages since I’ve contributed to the blog. Although it’s probably been a mere 2 weeks my life really has taken a turn, a positive turn. Whilst sitting in the window of this banging bookshop I’ve finished reading a book and have decided it’s time to do a little sharing.
I would have to say it started with spending a day with mum a couple weeks back. I took an early morning train to Nambour where we then set out to Malaney and enjoyed catching up and spending some quality time together. It really was a good day, she was super accommodating as we wandered through op-shops and book stores. It was actually at one of the book stores where I bought the book I just finished ‘good bye, things’ by Fumio Sasaki. I don’t think I actually opened the pages of it for a couple days, but when I did, I was hooked.
Fumio Sasaki wrote in such an easy uncomplicated manner, on a topic I had been interested in before. Minimalism.
When I moved out of my old apartment at the start of the year I had packed all my things away except for 6 pairs of clothes a book, and my computer (there were some more accessories but that’s about it). All of my stuff was either in cardboard boxes or garbage bags, and for a couple weeks I was sleeping on a yoga mat. As it turns out. I really enjoyed this. I loved this way of living and was having a blast. The idea that I really didn’t need much to survive and be happy was incredibly freeing. However I didn’t associate this with being minimalist or rather a way of life, so it wasn’t long before I moved into my new apartment and all my luxuries were unpacked. In a short amount of time I was also earning more money from taking on a new job, which interestingly was around the time when my binge eating problem started to take off.
Fumio really inspired me. So much so that I looked at my current room and all the things in it and decided, it’s time I make a change. First thing to go was my big desk, which was replaced with my small milk crate desk inspired by my favourite cafe @littleroguemelbourne. I went through all of the stuff in and of the desk, discarding left, right and centre, photographing receipts and old documents so that I could discard the filing cabinet. I also moved onto clearing out my wardrobe and shrinking it to 3 pairs of shoes, 7 shirts, 9 pant items and the Professor Paul outfit. The result, is right here:
Not only did I sigh a huge breath of relief on Sunday evening when I went to bed but when I woke up on Monday morning I was ecstatic. I wanted to wake up. I was certainly excited because something new had just happened but it was a change that really affirmed a new stage in my life.
I felt like I was moving in a new positive direction.
Throughout the week I continued to gain inspiration from Fumio’s words and found more things that were really unnecessary to my life. Yesterday, old records for my record player were thrown out and from there I decided that I also didn’t need as many coffee mugs for myself anymore. I have seriously gained a sense of relief and I’ve actually started feeling the happiest I’ve felt since the start of the year. My new friend Elcid came around last night and we had a casual jam that resulted in writing a new song together that may never amount to anything but felt incredible to create.
From writing in this blog I’ve gone from feeling a creative struggle, to hustling as hard as I can and never feeling good enough, to feeling a sense of peace and not a sense of self-consciousness.
I don’t believe minimalism is the only way to experience these feelings, I realise there are other things like travelling, exploration and closeness with God that produce them too, however, this for me has seemed to really light a fire. Still, it’s very early days in terms of living this way, but I believe it’s something that I want to continue exercising. I can’t believe the freedom I’m feeling. So if you’re going through some rough times, feeling un-motivated, un-inspired, un-happy, sick of your life and down right depressed or just low on self-worth, I would highly recommend flicking through the pages of this book. No pressure, but from one human being to another, I want to share the idea with you.
I also want to put it out there that I would love to meet Fumio Sasaki in the future, sit down with him and thank him for being a bold individual and inspiring me.
Thank you for reading this, I truly am grateful for your attention and hope I’ve brought value today!
Right now I’m full up on mixed fruit, apricots, 3 bowls of muesli, a croissant and some loaf from work. And if you’ve been hanging with me for much of this year or heard my latest song ‘Nicotine Fiend’ you’ll know that I’ve been struggling with binge eating. This week it has come back in a big way and I’m sitting here feeling like a balloon. I’m not going to bag on too much about this experience because I talk about it a lot as it is but I am right now at a low point where I’m feeling the shame, frustration and failure part of the binge eating experience.
In this state, I have little motivation to hustle. So I want to offer my 5 key ways to keep hustling even in your lowest emotional states. Right now I honestly feel shit, and I believe I will be able to draw on what truly does inspire me in this particularly rough time.
1 – Dreams/Goals
This is a real big part of what keeps me going at high and low points. It’s what I want to achieve in my life. For me at the core of it all I want to overcome all odds and achieve success in music. I want to be a Rapper that creates music heard on a world-wide scale. Ultimately it’s a selfish goal, but nonetheless it drives me harder because of how impossible it seems, I want to do it 10 fold just because I want to prove it can be done. I believe my favourite Rapper is @logic301 because he has that similar trait.
Focusing on your impossible goals and allowing yourself to fantasise on the potential successes to come will give you a reason to Hustle. Because let’s face it, why do something in the hard times when there isn’t a reason? There’s got to be some reason as to why we grit our teeth and keep going, so use your dreams as that reason. Even though I haven’t achieved my biggest dreams yet the sense of working toward them even in the hard times is exhilarating. It makes me feel like I’m one of the few who can stick it through.
2 – Pep Talk (I Can Do It)
I frequently host these 1 on 1 meetings with myself everywhere I go and if it weren’t for my mum teaching me this phrase I wouldn’t be as optimistic with my life. So, never underestimate the power of saying to yourself “I can do it”. Self-affirmation, it’s huge stuff. I often find myself staring straight into my eyes in the toilet room at work giving myself the inspiration to get through the shift so I can go home and work on my music. It’s the key to pushing through. Right now, you can apply it to any struggle you’re going through. For example: I can do this. I CAN get this blog posted despite having worked for 10 hours today with an ever increasing head ache. I WILL make it it happen.
Every time you hear yourself saying you Can’t do something stop yourself and rephrase your sentence because, you CAN, just you choose not to. No excuses.
3 – Letting out a ROAR!
I don’t care if you’re a female reading this and think “I can’t roar” because if you don’t want to roar, scream! It’s amazing, I actually saw this being done on the documentary of Tony Robbin’s ‘I Am Not Your Guru’, and when I was at a low I summoned the courage and roared in my house. Then I opened my door to the street and roared there too. It’s actually crazy how satisfying it can feel. We let so much crap just build up sometimes that it piles and piles and we don’t let it out because we think society frowns on letting out all our emotions. Man, letting it out is refreshing, and to be honest I’m going to do it right now while Carlos is editing behind me, film his reaction and upload that to my Facebook page. Okay truth I was doing it predominantly to get a reaction out of Carlos but man, it still feels good, especially if you’re a somewhat reserved person. Just try it.
I watch Gary Vee in my down time, sometimes when I’m having breakfast, after a spot of lunch and even when I’m meal prepping. Honestly watching his clips for me is incredible because I aspire to be like Gary. He is a crazy role model to me and after watching his videos I always take something away from it. Whether it’s a new idea or perspective I hadn’t thought about/let myself be exposed to or just some genuine inspiration, I always feel G’d up watching him work. It really helps me to find an extra gear many times. So find remind yourself of your inspirations and the people you look up to.
5 – Quit thinking
When I think too much I get anxious. When I get anxious I tend to halt all production. Thinking is the hardest thing to stop sometimes, but once you do, you can push past the thinking stage and realise you don’t need to think anymore so you continue doing. After a while the feelings go away and you realise you’re okay.
I tend to write down what’s on my mind each day, sort of like a check list but less definitive and I go through and chip away at each of those things. When I start thinking too much I like to just look at one of the things on my list and do it, without giving it any thought! Just get straight into it, don’t contemplate it, don’t consider nothing, just pure do.
Nike, Just Do It… You know what, I’m going to print that out and put it on my wall.
And I’m not even going to think about it, I’m going to do it right now. This moment.
Boom, that’s my 5 tips.
In all honesty, I believe I still need to be exercising each of these points more because lately I’ve been falling short and making excuses for my eating habits. But truthfully these points really help me keep hustling even when I feel average and think about tapping out.
I’d love to know your inspiration for hustling even in the hard times, so drop me a comment or DM to chat some more.
“You can be anything you want to be, ‘cept the person you want to be” – Logic
14/06/17 | 8:07am – NICOTINE FIEND –
In this blog I want to open up about the meaning behind my verse. Put it all on the table. It’s embarrassing and to others might seem stupid, but let’s go!
Ya’ll who don’t know me, I don’t smoke. So I’m not a Nicotine Fiend. However, earlier this year after I’d just split with my girlfriend, moved houses, changed jobs and released my second single ‘flo’ I started to slip. I didn’t slip into drugs or alcohol cause I’m not about that, but I slipped to something that I am about, food. To give you context, at this stage I was scheduling my life from the AM to the PM and put a lot of hours into my music. It required a fair amount of discipline and as I continued to try and balance these things I slowly started giving into comfort. Before I knew it food was one of the most prominent things on my mind, because it gave me a relief from the pressure. I let myself go a couple times and I distinctly remember eating a box of cookies, a bag of chips downing an energy drink and going through cheap coles tim tams like they were nothing in one sitting. That was my first crazy binge. And honestly, it was awful. From this moment it only got worse and I continued the behaviour. I started to reading ‘Brain Over Binge’ by Kathryn Hansen to try and change what I’d just dug myself into but even when I was really giving it a go, I would cave and wake up the next day not hungry. For about a week I didn’t know what hunger felt like anymore. It was actually scary. At this point I was fed up with how I was treating myself and my body, fed up that I wasn’t making a change. So I started to write. The first half of my verse is really a pent up frustration of the battle of overcoming my new found addiction to food. The second half came a little later on when I had gotten myself into a slightly better situation. It embodies my determination to overcome the addiction and not let it hold me down from smashing my dreams and goals. This has probably been the biggest emotional struggle for me this year.
I had people telling me left, right and centre that I shouldn’t worry about it, because it’s just food. You know, how can food be that bad for you. But I don’t think they understood the principle that ANYTHING can be addictive, and when you’re addicted to something it’s not a casual affair, it’s damn controlling! So no offence to those people but I didn’t listen to their advice, because eating habits once their learned will be carried on until you break them, and I knew that if I kept the habit of binge eating I would be the new Biggie. Much love to Biggie but that’s not how I see myself in the future in terms of size and weight. I happily see myself as becoming the rapper that he was, that dude is an OG bossman.
Even recently I have struggled to some degree with eating too much, however, I won’t tolerate binge eating now. I won’t tolerate eating bad foods regularly in my diet. I won’t tolerate relying on caffeine for long periods of time. I won’t tolerate it. Because if I do I will never beat my habits for the long term.
So, Nicotine Fiend is really Paul the Food Fiend.
My homie @searnbarness pipes in with his verse that gets me so G’d up. He really brings home the relentless attitude and paints a picture of what I want my life to look like. I’m inspired by his verse and in this process have learned a lot from him.
We actually go way back to Zephyr Street Acoustic club. I was 14 and he was 13 when we first met playing guitar in Hervey Bay. The guy oozes enthusiasm and has been truly a person I’ve enjoyed having in my inner circle. You are who you hang around, and I hope I have become a little more like Sean. He’s also predominantly 1/2 of SeaNic Sounds.
Anyway, this song is for you, if you struggle and feel like achieving something is impossible. This is us saying no matter what it is you can achieve it and it is worth it. For now and for the future.
I really love you for reading this, and if it relates to you please DM, comment, share, or like. I know I’m not the only one who goes through hard times and I love talking ’bout them, we all need to.
Life is uncomfortable, but we grow when we endure it so hang in there.
On Tuesday this week I realised just how much shit I’m in. I haven’t done anything wrong in terms of law, but I really got some perspective on the mountain I’m trying to climb.
It all started when I decided to head to a free APRA night in the valley where some guest speakers talked about accounting and tax for musicians/bands. I was fine, managing to get my head around the tax wasn’t too tricky, but as soon as @deenamusic started her presentation on budgets I could feel the intensity rise in my stomach. She was so REAL! I loved it, not sugar coating a dollar. Her experience working with @thejunglegiants was used as an example and the numbers were crazy. It really opened my eyes. It really made me realise where I am right now. Grassroots. I’m talking, it costs $20+ thousand to tour kinda numbers, where you break even or lose money. That’s what I made last year working 2 to 3 jobs. I have a big climb ahead.
The hunger inside of me begun to grow. My bike ride home consisted of ‘I can do this’ chanting in the cold wind. There’s nothing I want to do more than make rap music that I can tour and share with others, which made me realise all of the challenges ahead have to be faced and have to be climbed. I don’t have another option. So I tell myself I can do it. Because I know that I can and I want to.
This morning has been tricky. I am making a commitment to posting daily on social media, something I’ve never done before, and it’s cool but on the inside I’m totally freaking. I can feel the growing pains from so many directions right now. Rap, Blog, Vlog, Social Media. It’s crazy. I find that all I can do is grit my teeth and keep going. It’s definitely fun, and I enjoy making stuff but it’s also extremely hard. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m literally just trying to better myself in every area I can.
I am smiling at the same time though, knowing that this is forcing me to grow is amazing. Because I’m out of my comfort zone, and that purely means I’m going to grow and I’m getting closer to that tour. I’m getting closer to that hit song. I’m getting tested. If I can push through this and the million other moments like it I can do anything. I already know that I can do anything.
If you see me looking all stressed out, I’m feeling intense but I am loving it. I couldn’t be more grateful for these challenges ahead of me. I am totally on the verge of crippling myself in copious amounts of escapism and binge eating, but I won’t. I will tough this out because that’s how my mum raised me, and what I’m fighting for is bigger than myself.
you are amazing. I am stoked to say that my house mate is the best homie out. El Ricko came down today and totally smashed the cleaning of our apartment. Not only did he clean/vacuum (including my bedroom) but he rearranged the lounge room and made me one happy dude. Little things like this are huge to me. I know it sounds like we are in a relationship when I talk about him sometimes and although we’ve been known to share a regular cuddle and a stray kiss it’s totally left at bromance. But I got so much love for this guy.
I wanna talk about that.
It’s something that we all need, and more importantly need to give.
I believe that love is something present in every type of relationship you create with a person. Whether it’s someone you’ve known since birth like your parents, a workmate, or the person at the bus stop with their earphones in we all have some relationship with them and because there’s a relationship, there’s love. Or is there?
I read a book back in 2016 called ‘The 5 Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman, and it was a huge insight into relationships for me. At the time I was reading it in hopes of being able to love my girlfriend better, and since the book is lined up for people in serious relationships it may be overlooked as something of value for everybody else. But I believe the concepts are 100 and really can be used in all relationships. So if you’re keen to give some love and really pour into/grow friendships/family connections keep reading and think about these concepts. I guarantee you by doing even one of them it will not make your situation worse.
Gary’s 5 languages:
Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts.
So here’s some examples of these 5 things:
What @rickysaunders did for me was an Act of Service. Without me asking he went ahead and took a load off of my life, and maybe he didn’t realise it but I felt very thankful and loved when he did that. The guy really saved me a lot of time and time is precious to me, so that spoke a million words. Let me stress, this language doesn’t mean you become a slave for someone and become their house made, it means that you show your love to them by taking a load off of their shoulders essentially when they don’t expect it.
It’s something that anyone can do. Is your mum/partner somebody who works really hard all the time and forever fixes the food for the family/cleans the house? Man, she’d proly not know what to do if you gave her some time off, so try cooking dinner and cleaning up afterwards, it might just be the highlight of her week! But remember, do it without expecting anything in return or making it known that you’re doing it because you’re such a good giver. Sit down, be HUMBLE and give.
Just briefly, Physical Touch is showing your affection through a hug, pats on the back or handshakes (in a relationship it’s like holding hands etc. Sex is a bit more complicated but it lives here too). Words of Affirmation is essentially being positive and encouraging another person with who they are in life right now, pointing out the good qualities in them and emphasising how much they mean to you and the rest of the world (Try hand writing a letter to do this). Quality Time is literally no mobile phones or outside distractions and pure 1 on 1 with a person (walks, dinner, DnM’s, picnic). The last one is Gifts, and really is something you buy/make that you may not like AT ALL! But you buy/make it for your friend/family member because you’ve listened in conversation with them and know it’s something they’d love. I messed this up one time, I bought a caffeine molecule coffee cup to give to my bro Luke, but I ended up keeping it because really I wanted that cup from the start! (And plus, Luke really doesn’t dig chemistry… I kinda do).
The final layer to all this is that everybody receives love differently, rather, they understand some languages better than others. For example, I understand the language Acts of Service quite well and when somebody speaks that language (does an Act of Service for me) I feel extremely loved and appreciated. I believe this is because most of my life I’ve had to be fully independent in fixing my own dinners/lunches, organising my life and not having anyone else around to do it for me, that when someone comes in and says they’ll make me dinner or clean up the house I’m kinda like, what now? You’re going to do that? I thought I had to do that always and forever? The best way to get an idea of your love language is by taking this super short quiz. Once you’ve figured out what languages you understand best share them with your people figure out there’s, because what happens when you speak a language to someone who doesn’t understand it is you run into frustration and sadness very quickly.
To keep this post from reaching exponential lengths I’ve only elaborated on Acts of Services since it’s what happened to me 10 minutes before writing this post. I have barely scraped the surface of this topic too but I hope it’s encouragement to give more of a shit about the people in your life and show that you care. I’m certainly not the best lover out there but 100 want to keep striving for it everyday. Even if you never check this stuff out, what can you do to love more?
I love you,
P.s Love is not supposed to be comfortable. When you give love to someone it can be hard, it can mean that you have to sacrifice your comfort for the betterment of the person you’re giving to. Love comes at a cost, and not always financial.
and welcome to another instalment of my life. Produced by me, acted by me and edited by none other than, me.
This is a me affair, and if you’re wondering why all the fuss of dilly dallying, I couldn’t quite tell you. I’m merely rattling off the contents of my brain straight to the page. Sure, that may be encouraged by the cheap white wine I am currently sipping on, but typically I don’t even know what to expect when it comes to my brain. So what the heck!
Lately I admit my focus has been vlog orientated and the attention I’ve given to writing about my life and documenting my hustle has been put slightly on the back burner. So I am very eager to be writing right now.
This last week has been interesting and I’m going to touch on it because I am grateful of the progress made. To sum it up I made headway with my latest single, which by the time of this blog’s release will be announced, it’s title: ‘Nicotine Fiend’. It features my homie @seanbarness, who I am so thankful to have worked with, as he has taught me so much about being a rapper indirectly by purely being a hardcore OG in and out the booth.
This week I also worked with @chloeminogue and @kevincollette on their respective tracks, etching out some solid demos layer by layer.
Something I realised, whilst working with both of these awesome people is that for a while there I wasn’t fully engaged in their projects as their producer. While this blog was still ‘My Creative Struggle’ most of my energy was spent entirely on my own project, which I am grateful for, however it really stunted my ability to grow. I believe this was the case because I wasn’t fully immersing myself into everything that I was doing for them. I was only making an effort on their projects because I’d signed up to them, not because I wanted to be the bomb and make killer music. Now that I look back on that it’s rather evident that I want to commit to these guys all of the way, for I know that I will not produce anything of value if I don’t. It’s either all in or not at all, binary, 1’s and 0’s. Truth be told that’s a phrase I picked up from @GaryVee this afternoon in his vlog. But it’s true, you’re either full hustle or nothing at all, because it’s not possible to have half your body in the water, you’re either in the water or you’re not.
Maintaining exercise a little each day, has helped in terms of remaining more emotionally stable for me this week. I’ve got a chart that has a workout for everyday of the week blue tacked to my wall which kept me in check easily. I’m pretty sure it’s meant for the ladies, but I liked werkin’ dat ass and don’t care which neighbour saw through my balcony door at 4:45am (please take a seat). I recommend it to anyone who doesn’t have much time, but needs a clear head. Check it here. (If you have a killer routine that you follow, please link it to me <3)
As you also might know I made a commitment to eating healthier too. This is fuelled by the fact that I want to be an absolute machine rapper and life liver for the long haul, and the other truth that I HAVE treated my body poorly at times this year. An example, I had a family pack of Arnott’s biscuits set aside for my cuppa’s this week. Finished, in two days, gone. This was over Saturday and Sunday night. Definitely wasn’t an encouraging moment considering I hadn’t been that overboard with food in a while. However I’m more determined than ever to stay on track with meal preps and committing to keeping my eating in line. More pumpkin soup to come this week, that stuff is liquid gold.
This week an area of my life that has been on my mind is scheduling. It got a bit out of hand at the start of the year and I’ve been hesitant to start again, but I know if I’m going to make the most of my time on this earth and do the things that I want to, I’ll need to schedule. It might seem like an overkill, but realistically I must make the effort to try. My time spent not at work isn’t always free, and I’ve got to allocate it wisely, to maximise the life that I do live. This time I am going to incorporate days off. Something I didn’t do prior. After last week it was evident that having rest really has it’s place as I stepped back and took Saturday and Sunday off. Working everyday, either at work on music is easy for me to do and get caught up in. Taking time off, really refreshed my perspective, I need this if I’m going to reach my goals.
Those were the key points in my week that I could think of tonight, so I’ma wrap it up with a quick message before I head off and do some reading. I want to say thank you. To everyone that’s in my life right now. Honestly, life looks very different now to what it did a year ago and I have been missing that past of late, however, I want to be grateful for what I have now. What is happening NOW is special, and all of you who are apart of my life and what I do are the reason that NOW is the best chapter.
The day I say I’m not in the best chapter of my life, is the day I’m not grateful enough to see what’s really good around me. Like they say, the grass is always greener on the other side, but really it’s greener where you water it. – @scott_loveday (not the original owner of this quote, but the man that has really taught it to me this past year)
I’ma give you the recount about my week since being in the studio with @silknoak.
I’ve really just been going HAM and jammin’ a bunch into my days, so here’s what’s been doing.
Monday night my man @_dyllinger who you may remember as one of the three musketeers (@_instagav and @pineapplejam) I met in a Melbourne alleyway about a month ago bought a plane ticket to Brisbane and was getting in Tuesday! This flipped me out, and really my week took an interesting turn. @_dyllinger stayed with me for a few nights and since he is a photo enthusiast we went and did a fair amount of scouting for potential shots. I think we exhausted the Coorparoo area rather quickly, and spent most of our time in carparks, until the notion of pizza was raised. In that moment, we seized @dominos and trekked to the top of Wellington Street taking in the incredible city views. It was a chill, literally though, my nips were freezing again.
Not only was I lucky that my friend was keen on hip-hop and photos but the Welshman loved a good Star Wars film too and had yet to see @rogue_one_official! So we ventured down the hill and lined that up, it was probably 11pm. With intentions of rising at 4am the next morning I still decided Star Wars was a good idea. However, before I knew it @_dyllinger woke me up from my snoring slumber and wisely suggested I should get to bed! Not my proudest moment, I SWEAR I DON’T SNORE EVER! (Except this one time).
On Wednesday I had the boys @seanbarness and @melrose. around working on a new track. @seanbarness features on a verse and was laying down the final takes. By the end of the session we were all pretty psyched on the direction of the song, and the rest of the process seemed simple, record my final takes, mix and master. You’ll be hearing more about this project soon, I’m really keen to show it to you. One because it’s a new song and I can’t wait to flex again, but more than anything this goes deep into some of the struggles I had at the start of the year with bing eating.
@seanbarness is a true homie to me, and we go way back to performing at the local Sunday open mic night in Hervey Bay, so it was so cool to work with him. SAB brings his own spin on the vibe that really gets me fired up. Reals excited to share.
In the afternoon I cooked up a frittata, something I have never done before and honestly it was a good experience to branch out (all thanks to googling ‘Lunch’. Cheers @taste_team)! Thanks to my Wales friend he had me sorted with beats and we had a jammin’ afternoon chatting. This lead to suiting up and heading into the city for a bit of photo shenanigans. I also wasn’t the greatest tour guide that night so we did a lot of wandering, and ended up having a pint of Bulmers together @pignwhistleofficial. Upon leaving the establishment my feather weight relationship with alcohol became apparent and I was one tipsy Professor doin’ a slight bit of stumbling as we moved our way further into the Valley. That aside it was pretty cool roaming around, I finally tried @deathbeforedecaf247 at approx. 10pm… Yes, I had a flat white and yes, I buzzed hard. Since I hadn’t had a proper cup of coffee for at least a week my body straight away reacted to the SINGLE shot so much that even after a few hours of sleep when I woke I was STILL buzzing.
Thursday night was hanging with my bro @kevincollett and working on his music. It was real nice to catch up and be making progress. However after the catch up I was hungry to do more photos so we scouted AGAIN in Coorparoo, despite having work the next day…
This week has been jam packed and still there’s more!
We travelled a good hour and setup seats to watch @silknoakshow on Friday night where I got to witness first hand the hard work and dedication that @silknoak put into throwing their own show. It was inspiring because only 5 weeks before I was around when @ricky.saunders and @troysaunders were getting the ball rolling. I was definitely proud to say that those dudes were my house mates and more importantly friends. @ricky.saunders truly has become a close friend of mine since the start of the year and watching them pull it off was really special. A mass shoutout to @scott_loveday and his wife @christina757 for the ride out to Boonah, I’m always a fan of hanging with you guys.
Reflecting on this week, @_dyllinger and @scott_loveday wisely advised that I should slow up and take an opportunity to rest. Admittedly I was running most days on 3 hours of sleep and jamming a bunch in without any down time. Long-term that’s just not gonna fly, even after 4 or 5 days my general motor skills were really starting to get out of whack. So I took their advice and had a chill day Saturday, and plan to put that in my schedule for this week too.
I definitely get carried with working a lot and going HAM on rap. Which I love, but in the grand scheme I wanna be the cross country rapper, not the 100m rapper.
p.s. If you feel the same about working too much or not enough hit me with a message/comment/Snap (Tooooomato 5o’s) Keep at your dreams ❤