Thursday 20/04/17 | 1:35pm
I am actually a nervous ball of energy in this moment. The only way I can describe it is that I’m excited and freaked out at the same time. Weird. Like, I feel like I can own the world but I’m scared to start. Let me give you some context.
Yesterday it dawned on me that I really haven’t been taking control of my financial future. A big motivation for me leaving university was reading “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki. It flipped my whole perspective on money and had such a profound effect on me that I knew I really didn’t need a degree to achieve what I wanted in life. I just needed myself and a good mindset.
Anyway, I was having some well earned lunch after writing a new verse, accomplishing a Top Rock dance move and just having a genuinely ‘inspired’ morning. I sat down and put on a Gary Vee vlog feat. Tony Robbins (I have a Tony Robbin’s book unread in my book shelf at this stage so I was curious). I quickly realised in the first 10 minutes of their 1/2 hr conversation that what I’d set out to do financially was not coming to fruition, it was frustrating. For example, I have read at least 2 books on the power of compounding interest and how valuable it is to get that to work as early on in your life as possible for the simple fact that IT WILL MAKE YOU A SHITLOAD OF MONEY FOR DOING PRACTICALLY NOTHING! And yet this extremely simple step, I hadn’t embarked on yet.
So in my nervousness the 1/2 block of airy cadbury chocolate in my pantry, just, “vanished”… into my stomach. Yep, I nervous ate, while watching the video intently. I understood and really enjoyed what they were sharing but at the same time realised I was shitting myself with nervousness cause I hadn’t acted on my knowledge. Not wise. That was on my mind enough that I went straight back into my room picked up ‘Retire Young, Retire Rich’ by Robert Kiyosaki and the Tony Robins book that I hadn’t yet started and read (left) for the next hour or so. I was determined. I was determined to change my mindset so that I could actually make a difference. This leads to today.
I’m not gonna lie it started out great but I’m REALLY a mess right now.
I get up at 4am, journal, reply to some messages and start writing a new verse. By 5:50am I’m out the door on the bike riding to @kevincollett‘s place to shoot hoops. He welcomes me, makes me a cuppa and we’re chatting for a solid 15 minutes before he says, weren’t we supposed to shoot hoops yesterday?
It clicked. I just walked into a mans house at 6am on a week day, technically uninvited to shoot hoops… I’m THAT neighbour kid. *face palm*. Lucky Kev’s the chillest guy out and we still went to shoot hoops and had a rad morning.
I came back home finished writing a verse, read, had lunch, took a nap and put another Gary Vee vid on.
Que nervous feelin’s (This just keeps happening)
I watched DailyVee 203 with Kyle iSPY. It was genuinely inspiring the talk that they were having about churning out songs. Write it, release and continue. Just to produce content with a slightly less focus on quality. That idea has been on my mind before, and I’ve wanted to achieve it so I certainly got excited. So much that I ran into my room busted open the new rhymes, played them to myself and was thinking I need to finish them ALL! NOW! (rabid rapper frothing at the mouth with rabies… that’s exactly what I looked like). And I noticed, I’m just throwing myself back into the pit of anxiety yet again! Expecting the world in one minute.
Dumb move, bro, chill.
I feel like @Garyvee keeps showing me that I’m in need of some serious re-alignment in my life. Not because I want to be @Garyvee, but because he hits home topics that I’m passionate about, and haven’t been working towards.
I truly thought before watching the video all was good, and then in 10 minutes I’ve lost the plot!
I may be wrong, but I believe this would turn most people off from watching @Garyvee videos if they experienced the emotional roller coaster I’ve taken the last three days. But to be honest, as shit, frustrating and unbelievably annoying it is to feel all shook up on the inside. He’s right. He’s so right. And thanks to him, I have realised what I want to work towards. It’s like jumping in a cold shower, right now I’m screaming!!! But give it some time and I will inevitably adjust.
Quick emotional update. After writing this blog in the peak of my frenzy, I’ve actually settled down, and believe I could make a rational decision. Genuinely I’m amazed. Because not only am I sharing my life with you right now but by vomiting my emotional intestines up I’ve seemed to work my way to some decent conclusions.
Re-evaluate what it is I’m trying to do with my life. Align myself accordingly. And watch more @Garyvee! That’s my direction.
What is it that you’re running from or too scared to face? Is it a serious conversation with your partner/boss, is it admitting that you want to take what you’re doing to the next level? Hit me up in the comments @professorpaulcrawls (Facebook) or on ‘Tooooomato’ (5o’s) (Snapchat) with your answers/stories.
I’ll never stop lovin’ you,