Wednesday 26/07/17 | 12:55pm
– The Scene –
I’m in my room having just finished a lunch that consisted of a pre-made BLAT, handful of apricots, nuts and dried fruits with a freshly brewed cup of Chai Tea and water to my right. Air is cool, but the sun is radiating plenty of light.
– Complication –
I can’t help but think about the things on my mind for the day. I wrote them down, one item is writing this blog and the others include editing the Vlog, glueing my desk together, calling my mum, meditating and working on some of Chloe’s music. Lately I’ve been thinking in the future a bunch, predicting what my emotions may be and trying to live in the present through them. If I’m honest it keeps me on edge/anxious and out of the present.
I love making lists for my day, because it helps me stay on track with what matters most to me, but I catch myself not getting engulfed in the current item and trying to predict future emotions. It seems that I am attempting to tip toe through life and plan my emotions by how I structure my day, however I have no control over that. For example I might be at work and be thinking about what the future may hold when I finish. It may be some work when I get home and therefore I brace myself right then for the feelings I think I’m going to get from doing work at home, which hasn’t even came to be yet! I’m not even reacting to the life around me I’m reacting to the imaginary life that doesn’t exist. I must admit it’s frustrating and I think I tend to do this most when I feel like life in the moment gets tough.
– Partial Resolution –
Right now I can’t say I have a ‘cure’ or really that I’ve searched into it much, but something I am doing which raises my spirits in general is choosing to be grateful in every moment. I find that by doing this I have to be alert to what is actually going on in the world. For example I am right now grateful for the warm beverage that is keeping my goosebumps at bay, as well as my record player that is currently playing a ‘Disclosure’ album while I’m writing this. I’m also grateful for the incredibly comfortable chair I’m sitting in that keeps my back aligned. On top of this I have a full stomach from eating lunch which means I am more than able to survive 4+ days if I were to go without food. I’m grateful for the air that I can feel coming through my nostrils giving me life to continue writing also. Etc. The list could be endless but ultimately I think being grateful in the moment can help align me again with what is actually going on and back to focusing on what I’m working on in the present.
I believe that’s why mindfulness meditation can be such a winner too when I’m struggling with a mind full of mess! I know that I need it more than ever in these moments and have to remind myself, future living is impossible and cannot be controlled.
– Conclusion –
Really, I aim to share this small experience with you because I think mental health is not talked about enough, and also because it helps me to deal with my issues. If you find yourself feeling a similar way I’d love to know how you deal with it and if you’ve found any effective ways of dealing with it. Always keen to link up.
your man with the long hair,