Nicotine Fiend Feat. SAB

14/06/17 | 8:07am
– NICOTINE FIEND –
In this blog I want to open up about the meaning behind my verse. Put it all on the table. It’s embarrassing and to others might seem stupid, but let’s go!

Ya’ll who don’t know me, I don’t smoke. So I’m not a Nicotine Fiend. However, earlier this year after I’d just split with my girlfriend, moved houses, changed jobs and released my second single ‘flo’ I started to slip. I didn’t slip into drugs or alcohol cause I’m not about that, but I slipped to something that I am about, food. To give you context, at this stage I was scheduling my life from the AM to the PM and put a lot of hours into my music. It required a fair amount of discipline and as I continued to try and balance these things I slowly started giving into comfort. Before I knew it food was one of the most prominent things on my mind, because it gave me a relief from the pressure. I let myself go a couple times and I distinctly remember eating a box of cookies, a bag of chips downing an energy drink and going through cheap coles tim tams like they were nothing in one sitting. That was my first crazy binge. And honestly, it was awful. From this moment it only got worse and I continued the behaviour. I started to reading ‘Brain Over Binge’ by Kathryn Hansen to try and change what I’d just dug myself into but even when I was really giving it a go, I would cave and wake up the next day not hungry. For about a week I didn’t know what hunger felt like anymore. It was actually scary. At this point I was fed up with how I was treating myself and my body, fed up that I wasn’t making a change. So I started to write. The first half of my verse is really a pent up frustration of the battle of overcoming my new found addiction to food. The second half came a little later on when I had gotten myself into a slightly better situation. It embodies my determination to overcome the addiction and not let it hold me down from smashing my dreams and goals. This has probably been the biggest emotional struggle for me this year.

I had people telling me left, right and centre that I shouldn’t worry about it, because it’s just food. You know, how can food be that bad for you. But I don’t think they understood the principle that ANYTHING can be addictive, and when you’re addicted to something it’s not a casual affair, it’s damn controlling! So no offence to those people but I didn’t listen to their advice, because eating habits once their learned will be carried on until you break them, and I knew that if I kept the habit of binge eating I would be the new Biggie. Much love to Biggie but that’s not how I see myself in the future in terms of size and weight. I happily see myself as becoming the rapper that he was, that dude is an OG bossman.

Even recently I have struggled to some degree with eating too much, however, I won’t tolerate binge eating now. I won’t tolerate eating bad foods regularly in my diet. I won’t tolerate relying on caffeine for long periods of time. I won’t tolerate it. Because if I do I will never beat my habits for the long term.
So, Nicotine Fiend is really Paul the Food Fiend.

My homie @searnbarness pipes in with his verse that gets me so G’d up. He really brings home the relentless attitude and paints a picture of what I want my life to look like. I’m inspired by his verse and in this process have learned a lot from him.
We actually go way back to Zephyr Street Acoustic club. I was 14 and he was 13 when we first met playing guitar in Hervey Bay. The guy oozes enthusiasm and has been truly a person I’ve enjoyed having in my inner circle. You are who you hang around, and I hope I have become a little more like Sean. He’s also predominantly 1/2 of SeaNic Sounds.

Anyway, this song is for you, if you struggle and feel like achieving something is impossible. This is us saying no matter what it is you can achieve it and it is worth it. For now and for the future.

I really love you for reading this, and if it relates to you please DM, comment, share, or like. I know I’m not the only one who goes through hard times and I love talking ’bout them, we all need to.

Life is uncomfortable, but we grow when we endure it so hang in there.

@professor_paul

Feature photo shot by @becshoots

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My Creative Hustle – IV

22/05/17 8:18pm

Good evening, I say eloquently,

and welcome to another instalment of my life. Produced by me, acted by me and edited by none other than, me.

This is a me affair, and if you’re wondering why all the fuss of dilly dallying, I couldn’t quite tell you. I’m merely rattling off the contents of my brain straight to the page. Sure, that may be encouraged by the cheap white wine I am currently sipping on, but typically I don’t even know what to expect when it comes to my brain. So what the heck!

Lately I admit my focus has been vlog orientated and the attention I’ve given to writing about my life and documenting my hustle has been put slightly on the back burner. So I am very eager to be writing right now.

This last week has been interesting and I’m going to touch on it because I am grateful of the progress made. To sum it up I made headway with my latest single, which by the time of this blog’s release will be announced, it’s title: ‘Nicotine Fiend’. It features my homie @seanbarness, who I am so thankful to have worked with, as he has taught me so much about being a rapper indirectly by purely being a hardcore OG in and out the booth.
This week I also worked with @chloeminogue and @kevincollette on their respective tracks, etching out some solid demos layer by layer.
Something I realised, whilst working with both of these awesome people is that for a while there I wasn’t fully engaged in their projects as their producer. While this blog was still ‘My Creative Struggle’  most of my energy was spent entirely on my own project, which I am grateful for, however it really stunted my ability to grow. I believe this was the case because I wasn’t fully immersing myself into everything that I was doing for them. I was only making an effort on their projects because I’d signed up to them, not because I wanted to be the bomb and make killer music. Now that I look back on that it’s rather evident that I want to commit to these guys all of the way, for I know that I will not produce anything of value if I don’t. It’s either all in or not at all, binary, 1’s and 0’s. Truth be told that’s a phrase I picked up from @GaryVee this afternoon in his vlog. But it’s true, you’re either full hustle or nothing at all, because it’s not possible to have half your body in the water, you’re either in the water or you’re not.

GOkue
This made an addition to my wardrobe mirror collection, as Goku really developed my hardworking mindset. I loved that he would grit his teeth and overcome everything he set his mind to in DBZ. Definitely a childhood favourite worth remembering. (Sure I used to pull constipated faces regularly as I tried to go super sayan but hey… It was worth it). 

Maintaining exercise a little each day, has helped in terms of remaining more emotionally stable for me this week. I’ve got a chart that has a workout for everyday of the week blue tacked to my wall which kept me in check easily. I’m pretty sure it’s meant for the ladies, but I liked werkin’ dat ass and don’t care which neighbour saw through my balcony door at 4:45am (please take a seat). I recommend it to anyone who doesn’t have much time, but needs a clear head. Check it here. (If you have a killer routine that you follow, please link it to me <3)

As you also might know I made a commitment to eating healthier too. This is fuelled by the fact that I want to be an absolute machine rapper and life liver for the long haul, and the other truth that I HAVE treated my body poorly at times this year. An example, I had a family pack of Arnott’s biscuits set aside for my cuppa’s this week. Finished, in two days, gone. This was over Saturday and Sunday night. Definitely wasn’t an encouraging moment considering I hadn’t been that overboard with food in a while. However I’m more determined than ever to stay on track with meal preps and committing to keeping my eating in line. More pumpkin soup to come this week, that stuff is liquid gold.

This week  an area of my life that has been on my mind is scheduling. It got a bit out of hand at the start of the year and I’ve been hesitant to start again, but I know if I’m going to make the most of my time on this earth and do the things that I want to, I’ll need to schedule. It might seem like an overkill, but realistically I must make the effort to try. My time spent not at work isn’t always free, and I’ve got to allocate it wisely, to maximise the life that I do live. This time I am going to incorporate days off. Something I didn’t do prior. After last week it was evident that having rest really has it’s place as I stepped back and took Saturday and Sunday off. Working everyday, either at work on music is easy for me to do and get caught up in. Taking time off, really refreshed my perspective, I need this if I’m going to reach my goals.

Those were the key points in my week that I could think of tonight, so I’ma wrap it up with a quick message before I head off and do some reading. I want to say thank you. To everyone that’s in my life right now. Honestly, life looks very different now to what it did a year ago and I have been missing that past of late, however, I want to be grateful for what I have now. What is happening NOW is special, and all of you who are apart of my life and what I do are the reason that NOW is the best chapter.

The day I say I’m not in the best chapter of my life, is the day I’m not grateful enough to see what’s really good around me. Like they say, the grass is always greener on the other side, but really it’s greener where you water it. – @scott_loveday (not the original owner of this quote, but the man that has really taught it to me this past year)

Peace and love my brothers and sisters,

Professor Paul

My Creative Hustle – III

Sunday | 14/05/17 | 5:01am

Come on in friend,

I’ma give you the recount about my week since being in the studio with @silknoak.
I’ve really just been going HAM and jammin’ a bunch into my days, so here’s what’s been doing.

Monday night my man @_dyllinger who you may remember as one of the three musketeers (@_instagav and @pineapplejam) I met in a Melbourne alleyway about a month ago bought a plane ticket to Brisbane and was getting in Tuesday! This flipped me out, and really my week took an interesting turn. @_dyllinger  stayed with me for a few nights and since he is a photo enthusiast we went and did a fair amount of scouting for potential shots. I think we exhausted the Coorparoo area rather quickly, and spent most of our time in carparks, until the notion of pizza was raised. In that moment, we seized @dominos and trekked to the top of Wellington Street taking in the incredible city views. It was a chill, literally though, my nips were freezing again.

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@_dyllinger shot this in Coorparoo Woolworths carpark!

Not only was I lucky that my friend was keen on hip-hop and photos but the Welshman loved a good Star Wars film too and had yet to see @rogue_one_official! So we ventured down the hill and lined that up, it was probably 11pm. With intentions of rising at 4am the next morning I still decided Star Wars was a good idea. However, before I knew it @_dyllinger woke me up from my snoring slumber and wisely suggested I should get to bed! Not my proudest moment, I SWEAR I DON’T SNORE EVER! (Except this one time).

 

On Wednesday I had the boys @seanbarness and @melrose. around working on a new track. @seanbarness features on a verse and was laying down the final takes. By the end of the session we were all pretty psyched on the direction of the song, and the rest of the process seemed simple, record my final takes, mix and master. You’ll be hearing more about this project soon, I’m really keen to show it to you. One because it’s a new song and I can’t wait to flex again, but more than anything this goes deep into some of the struggles I had at the start of the year with bing eating.

@seanbarness is a true homie to me, and we go way back to performing at the local Sunday open mic night in Hervey Bay, so it was so cool to work with him. SAB brings his own spin on the vibe that really gets me fired up. Reals excited to share.

In the afternoon I cooked up a frittata, something I have never done before and honestly it was a good experience to branch out (all thanks to googling ‘Lunch’. Cheers @taste_team)! Thanks to my Wales friend he had me sorted with beats and we had a jammin’ afternoon chatting. This lead to suiting up and heading into the city for a bit of photo shenanigans. I also wasn’t the greatest tour guide that night so we did a lot of wandering, and ended up having a pint of Bulmers together @pignwhistleofficial. Upon leaving the establishment my feather weight relationship with alcohol became apparent and I was one tipsy Professor doin’ a slight bit of stumbling as we moved our way further into the Valley. That aside it was pretty cool roaming around, I finally tried @deathbeforedecaf247 at approx. 10pm… Yes, I had a flat white and yes, I buzzed hard. Since I hadn’t had a proper cup of coffee for at least a week my body straight away reacted to the SINGLE shot so much that even after a few hours of sleep when I woke I was STILL buzzing.

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A Still from my vlog footage on Wednesday night reppin’ my @deathbeforedecaf247 flatty! @_dyllinger is working on those neon lights in my glasses.

Thursday night was hanging with my bro @kevincollett and working on his music. It was real nice to catch up and be making progress. However after the catch up I was hungry to do more photos so we scouted AGAIN in Coorparoo, despite having work the next day…
This week has been jam packed and still there’s more!

We travelled a good hour and setup seats to watch @silknoakshow on Friday night where I got to witness first hand the hard work and dedication that @silknoak put into throwing their own show. It was inspiring because only 5 weeks before I was around when @ricky.saunders and @troysaunders were getting the ball rolling. I was definitely proud to say that those dudes were my house mates and more importantly friends. @ricky.saunders truly has become a close friend of mine since the start of the year and watching them pull it off was really special. A mass shoutout to @scott_loveday and his wife @christina757 for the ride out to Boonah, I’m always a fan of hanging with you guys.

Reflecting on this week, @_dyllinger and @scott_loveday wisely advised that I should slow up and take an opportunity to rest. Admittedly I was running most days on 3 hours of sleep and jamming a bunch in without any down time. Long-term that’s just not gonna fly, even after 4 or 5 days my general motor skills were really starting to get out of whack. So I took their advice and had a chill day Saturday, and plan to put that in my schedule for this week too.

I definitely get carried with working a lot and going HAM on rap. Which I love, but in the grand scheme I wanna be the cross country rapper, not the 100m rapper.

Stay true,

Professor Paul

p.s. If you feel the same about working too much or not enough hit me with a message/comment/Snap (Tooooomato 5o’s) Keep at your dreams ❤ 

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Just a lil’ onstage snap of @silknoak. Hit up @silknoakshow for more pics of the event!

My Creative Hustle – II

Saturday | 06/05/17 | 12:58pm

Sup homes,

to paint a picture of what I’m up to right now, I’m sitting on the couch at The Barn Recording Studio in the middle of flippin’ nowhere. Well it’s somewhere, but let’s just say I can’t ride a bike to where we’re at. It’s secluded. To the right of me there is a mixing desk about 3/4’s the size of my body, to the left of me @lachlanholdorf is doing his engineering log book and in the huge recording room in front @Troysaunders is laying down a bass fill.
To be honest, it feels very cool being in this space. I woke up today and looked out of the cottage window and immediately couldn’t believe that I was living this out. Being in a studio and creating music is totally the dream. I mean I do this anyway on a day to day basis in my own room, the difference is there’s other people involved and the music I’m working on is somebody else’s. I don’t think I really appreciate that I create music as much as I could. It’s really such a wonderful thing that I do and man, I’m so grateful for it and my idols that continue to inspire me. If there wasn’t a @Logic, @Eminem or @champagnepapi I really would be lost.

Anyway, I didn’t spend too much time on the post yesterday so it’s currently Sunday the 7th of May and I’m sitting at the grand piano with my laptop. There’s an array of fancy, cool, expensive microphones setup in this place and lots of freedom to roam/lounge around. We literally slept in the studio last night and I was lucky enough to take refuge in @rickysaunders’ swag that was warm and comfy.
But To get you up to speed yesterday the boys @silknoak laid down the beds to both tracks we’re working on. This took some time to get right because it’s really critical that the foundation is solid. Realistically that’s the most important part of the song, because if the base isn’t right it doesn’t matter how much fancy sprinkles you put on top it won’t taste good. Think about it, would you eat dog poo if it had mnm’s and marshmallows on top? I wouldn’t! So why would you listen to music if there’s no togetherness? You probably wouldn’t, unless you were at my place and I was showing you my dog poo. If we become friends there’s a good chance I’ll do that, and even let you smell it if you’re lucky.

Okay let’s bring it back.

Because the focus was on Bass, Guitar and Drums yesterday my role as the Trumpet man was temporarily disarmed (enter Mr. Documentarian!). This was pretty cool, I just hung around and shot footage while the boys bantered and did some serious slugging. Oh, and I had the privilege of grabbing @lachlanholdorf’s cymbals for ‘Virus’, the second song they tracked. This was pretty cool, I genuinely enjoyed the job and it meant I got to stare at some dope drum playing close up for most of the afternoon. It was a long day but realistically I chilled. Right now @becccaahhhh is laying down some keys while I wait to lay trumpet on the jam.

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I was jus’ playin’ the fool cause I thought the grand piano was cool. – shot by @rickysaunders

In the back of my head I’m thinking about coffee. There’s a little brewing machine that takes ground coffee and the teams been banging it down. I really am excited to do the same except I’ve been limiting my intake lately. I know it sounds precious but when I have coffee, I go bloody nuts most times, and with this gross head cold hanging round it’s maybe not the wisest thing to do. I also tend to rely on it for helping me with my general mood, like I feel better when I have coffee so I drink more of it. And then I drink too much and wake up with a mad coffee hangover. So yeah, I’m gonna be all good just right now I’m having a little low in my energy and emotional feels. I’ll probably smash out a little workout in half hour or so. Not having coffee is not the end of the world. Obsession over.

@Troysaunders and I just did a quick workout which felt super good, it definitely got my mind off the coffee and hit me with a shot of dopamine. Straight after that @rickysaunders comes out of the control room raring to do some vocal takes and we go up to the cottage to steam some water for lubing the vocal chords and run my super quick warm-up routine (la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaaa).

We spent the rest of the day laying down what we could, but quickly realised that there was a shortage of time on our hands and we were going to go over.
By the time we’d put the last take down it was approx. 7:30pm and we’d run two and a half hours overtime. 
However, some serious progression with both songs had abounded and although it was clear more time needed to be spent polishing them and adding extra tracks head way really had been made.

@rickysaunders and @Troysaunders are very dedicated individuals when it comes to music and even though it’s not quite where they want it, they will work to finish the tracks no matter what it takes. Their drive for music is at it’s core very similar to mine.

So we packed down and it was around 9pm when the lock was set on the Barn. We drove home and shared our perspectives of the weekend, concluding that the week ahead was only going to be bigger for them as they gear up for the @thesilknoakshow on Friday.
It was also truly enjoyable sharing some late night subway together. (I really am thankful, the bro’s came through and shouted me a pulled-pork footlong!!! I love you guys).

The experience for me was great for my creativity. Not to mention a perfect environment for the hustle. I’m going to eat my dinner now, thank you for reading and as always I’d love to know about your experiences, please share in a comment, message or snapchat (Tooooomato 5o’s).

love, just love,
Professor Paul

P.s. I made a vlog of the weekend, so you can see first hand what it was like in the studio here. 

 

My Creative Hustle – I

04/05/17 | 11:05am

Good morning,

I’d like to acknowledge that today is in fact May the 4th and I can’t continue without preaching that @StarWars is my favourite movie franchise and has inspired me since the tender age of 5. My favourite movie when I was younger was Episode 1 The Phantom Menace, but over the years I really have attached myself to loving them all. As a kid I used to run around the back yard with my neighbours playing @StarWars most afternoons. My imagination was filled with owning a pod racer, wielding a lightsaber and bringing peace to the galaxy by melting the necks of any separatist droid in my way, (or hacking at some innocent tree with a stick that always broke, sorry Bobby I swear I won’t treat you like that).
I love the wisdom of Yoda and the flashy camera work by @Georgelucas too, it’s a series that adds value to my life even today. If you’re no @StarWars fan that’s cool I’m gonna move on, but I couldn’t keep going without confessing how much of a nerd I am about it.

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My marmie bought me this when I was 17. You’re never too old R2-D2.


In the last week I’ve come around in a good way. @Garyvee has inspired me and I’ve started tackling all the tasks in front of me with an incredible amount of discipline. It felt like I was finally being myself again, after spending some time with anxiety. Because if I’m honest, I love to hustle. I know that I love to hustle because it brings so much value to my life by doing it. Hustling has only made me better. Even though it can be hard, tiring and take all your energy at times, what is achieved can really take your breath away. I may not seem like I’ve achieved much on the outside right now. But on the inside I believe that I have. In my room there are goals on a whiteboard that I stare at every single day, and what’s more is that they slowly get replaced with new goals because I’m ticking them off. The funny thing about that is that they only seem to get ticked off as a result of my hustle, and to some degree how hard I’m hustling. I relate a lot to @Garyvee because I see myself at his age doing what he’s doing, in fact I see myself right now wanting to be doing what he’s doing. Which is being disciplined to work my butt off.

In light of this change in pace I have decided to start a new series of blogs titled “My Creative Hustle”. I have the same intention as my last series, (share my life, talk about ups and downs and encourage others to tell their stories) the only change is that “Hustle” best captures what I’m about in this moment. I am not struggling anymore, I am hustling. Sure there are still things going on in my head that really make me question myself, anxieties niggling at me, voices in my head at times but the nature of who I am is switching up a gear. So I am very proud to announce this.

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The crowd from @SaharaBeck, was definitely havin’ a ball in this see of people. 

In light of my change, I had some cool experiences in seeing @SaharaBeck and @ regurgitators thanks to the FREE @Stonescornerfestival. Admittedly, I had worked a full day on the coffee machine, went out for a drink with homies from @belaromacoffeecentre then linked up with @silknoak and @Karriehaywardmusic for another boogie and a very messy run/boisterous walk to McDonalds. I only had 2 beers but I was definitely a clown on the town.
@SaharaBeck absolutely nailed her set. It was impossible to not want to cheer and when she ripped one of her power ballads, I had shivers down to my shins… I actually stood with my mouth open most of that song, jumping up and down like a little girl who gets ice-cream on a weeknight, it was THAT powerful. A wonderful experience.

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Patiently gettin’ keen for @Wombatsofficial to tear up the stage. 

The next day was even crazier! My ex-bass player Luke Martin (doesn’t have insta…) and I headed to the @Wombatsofficial concert. This was hella-vicious. I mean @thejunglegiants started the night and played classics like ‘She’s a Riot’ and ‘You’ve got something’ which meant I fully blew the boogie metre! So bad that the girl dancing to the side of us asked what I was on, to which Luke naturally replied ‘Meth’ without hesitation. He said to me later “I wanted to tell her after that this is you sober, but I think it’s funnier left unsaid”. I had to let it go, that girl thought I was on Meth, I wasn’t, but the music was too good to really care. @Milkychance jumped up next and we kept going in the mosh with some new found friends, who were eagerly anticipating the infamous @Wombatsofficial. I went to the concert with a limited knowledge of them, however I was transfixed during their set even though it’s not the music I’m making right now. I couldn’t help but feel even more focused on hustling. Hustling because I want to get that tight someday, tight enough that I can play to an audience of 5000+ at Riverstage as a headliner. Definitely, you might look at me right now and think, this guy is dreaming, and I’d say, you’re right. I’d also say, sit back and watch me tick these goals, it won’t happen tomorrow however that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop hustling for it. I really do want to climb the mountain that is in front of me, and the mountain after that. I have so much to learn. Especially in Hip-Hop. My brother @seanbarness made me realise this when we hung out yesterday. I know so little, and the more I learn the more I still won’t know. I feel humbled in his presence and by his abilities, it’s the reality check I need often. I believe that’s the sign of a valuable friend.

I wanna wrap up the summary of my week by saying thank you to the people who have shared their stories since starting this blog, I respect your openness towards me. Please continue sharing via a comment/Facebook/Snapchat (Tooooomato 5o’s) it’s so dope hearing your response.

As for my direction here, I intend this new series to be honest and truthful to where I am right now, in hopes that my accounts tell the story of how I became the next @KendrickLamar in years to come.

Be bold and may the force be with you my homie,
Professor Paul

 

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This is my friend Luke. Luke is the most dedicated bass player you’ll ever meet. Luke wants to be in a band like the Wombats. Luke loves music and will sleep on your floor for a week with no pillow just to record, and he’ll bring the coffee machine. Luke wants to be in a Brisbane based band. If you need this incredible specimen in your life you can contact him here: lukemartin97@icloud.com or by messaging me. Luke also enjoys bear hugs and beers. This is a very special opportunity not to be missed… 

 

My Creative Struggle VII

26/04/17

3:48pm: Homie,

I’m doing well. Mentally rather decent these past few days. Since coming to terms with what I witnessed at the skatepark I totally have taken a more chilled approach to music. I don’t think I’m fully chill in the sense that I just make music whenever, I’m still cranking the alarm clock for 4-4:30am, cause I am without a doubt determined to be the next @Drake. But the way in which I spend my time is more chilled. I’ve started doing vocal warm ups before rapping. Yep, if you’re a neighbour of mine and reading this, it’s not a cat it’s me singing high notes in the shower along to the VocalWarmUp App… You can thank @Usher.

If you’re wondering “Why @Usher?” I was reading “Retire Young, Retire Rich” by @Robertkiyosaki and it was a chapter presenting an alternative to saving money. Mr.@Robertkiyosaki explains that in contrast to poor dad, his rich dad wouldn’t put such an emphasis on saving his money, instead he would spend it on things that would grow him as a person. He wasn’t buying fancy clothes (or new nike’s from the Melbourne HYPE store, Tom) he was buying books, enrolling in seminars and using the money to talk to other professionals. Suddenly it just clicked, I’ve been putting 10% of every pay check away each week for more than a year now and I have just saved it… Which yes is good, but I haven’t put the money to work. Anyway, I remember stumbling across @Usher‘s Masterclass on Facebook, it cost money so at the time I thought no, but after reading this I immediately jumped online and bought in.

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– Material Flashin’ – The New Nikes from Melbz

It’s a class on performance, and this dude can perform. To be honest, I’ve never actually been a fan of @Usher, but I have mad respect for his work ethic, achievement and discipline to taking what he does to the next level. Considering I really want to bring a next level experience to my live shows in the future I was keen. So the last lesson was on vocal warm ups, and since I want to be rapping for a long time I started doing it.
As well as doing vocal warm ups I’ve been throwing some super basic Hip-Hop Dance moves into each day. This has been super fun considering I enjoy a good boogie. I’ve never done any formal dancing, and if you know me, I’m a clumsy jelly legs most days! However, I’m determined to at least get some cool grooves down so that I can grow as a performer, also, I just genuinely love grooving to music and so knowing a few moves is helping me to get into the tunes even more.

This kinda does progress to something that I think needs addressing in my life right now.
My health. Body health. Like what I’m putting in and how it’s being treated. I think I’ve done a good job of working alongside the needs of my inner-self which I continue to do daily by journalling, but man I think my body is deserving of some serious lovin’… Don’t take that weird though. I know you took that weird. I think I thought it weird first… Please keep reading, that wasn’t funny.

Earlier this year, when I moved into my new place and became a fresh single homie I was doing quite well. In the sense that I was prepping meals, working super hard at music and landed a new job making coffee. However, somewhere along the lines I got twisted down a path of binge eating WHAM! @Troysaunders1 my housemate lost out on 3 bowls of his milo cereal because of me. What I mean is, I remember so clearly coming home at 12:30am, grabbing a prepped burrito from the fridge, eating it, and sitting at the counter with a box of milo cereal and a bottle of Milk topping up my bowl twice. Yep, this was 12:30am. When I got up for work at 4am, I was still drunk as a skunk off sugar. Will admit, not my proudest moment.

I have had more binge experiences since then, although by believing that bingeing just wasn’t me, like smoking isn’t me I don’t have a big drama with it anymore. But I forced my body through a lot of crap, and continue even now to eat crap here and there, I really think that it needs a break from it. Like I swear my body is yellin’ “Bro, chill. You’re an animal! I can’t handle you treating me like this and I’m gone fuck you up if you keep it up.”
Considering I want to be the next @Kanyewest too, I need to start listening.

As you’re probably aware my coffee intake is pretty consistent, I haven’t had a break from it in a while. Normally when I do have a break I feel so so good! I think that’ll be my first step, followed by a little research into healthier meals and daily scheduled exercise.

This is totally going to take some teeth grit, I will cry tears not being able to eat more helpings, or having coffees at work. However I’ve got my sights set on being the best I can be to reach new heights as a person, so I’ll do anything.

Stay tuned via Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat (Tooooomato 5o’s) for more posts on how this adventure goes!

Also, iff you want to see something dumb, head to @professor_paul on Insta G and check the picture with tetley tea bags, I genuinely thought I was creating comedy history… Which is certainly not what happened, but I still laugh to myself.

Love,
Professor Paul

P.s if you’ve had a problem with over eating and/or just being in a health dump, please drop comments or knowledge about your experiences here of via Facebook. Cause no joke, I was only getting a taste for how shit Binge eating can be. I genuinely care.

My Creative Struggle V

Thursday 20/04/17 | 1:35pm

Sup homes,
I am actually a nervous ball of energy in this moment. The only way I can describe it is that I’m excited and freaked out at the same time. Weird. Like, I feel like I can own the world but I’m scared to start. Let me give you some context.

Yesterday it dawned on me that I really haven’t been taking control of my financial future. A big motivation for me leaving university was reading “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki. It flipped my whole perspective on money and had such a profound effect on me that I knew I really didn’t need a degree to achieve what I wanted in life. I just needed myself and a good mindset.
Anyway, I was having some well earned lunch after writing a new verse, accomplishing a Top Rock dance move and just having a genuinely ‘inspired’ morning. I sat down and put on a Gary Vee vlog feat. Tony Robbins (I have a Tony Robbin’s book unread in my book shelf at this stage so I was curious). I quickly realised in the first 10 minutes of their 1/2 hr conversation that what I’d set out to do financially was not coming to fruition, it was frustrating. For example, I have read at least 2 books on the power of compounding interest and how valuable it is to get that to work as early on in your life as possible for the simple fact that IT WILL MAKE YOU A SHITLOAD OF MONEY FOR DOING PRACTICALLY NOTHING! And yet this extremely simple step, I hadn’t embarked on yet.

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These guys inspire me and drop knowledge: @tonyrobbins and @therealkiyosaki.

So in my nervousness the 1/2 block of airy cadbury chocolate in my pantry, just, “vanished”… into my stomach. Yep, I nervous ate, while watching the video intently. I understood and really enjoyed what they were sharing but at the same time realised I was shitting myself with nervousness cause I hadn’t acted on my knowledge. Not wise. That was on my mind enough that I went straight back into my room picked up ‘Retire Young, Retire Rich’ by Robert Kiyosaki and the Tony Robins book that I hadn’t yet started and read (left) for the next hour or so. I was determined. I was determined to change my mindset so that I could actually make a difference. This leads to today.

I’m not gonna lie it started out great but I’m REALLY a mess right now.

I get up at 4am, journal, reply to some messages and start writing a new verse. By 5:50am I’m out the door on the bike riding to @kevincollett‘s place to shoot hoops. He welcomes me, makes me a cuppa and we’re chatting for a solid 15 minutes before he says, weren’t we supposed to shoot hoops yesterday?
It clicked. I just walked into a mans house at 6am on a week day, technically uninvited to shoot hoops… I’m THAT neighbour kid. *face palm*. Lucky Kev’s the chillest guy out and we still went to shoot hoops and had a rad morning.

I came back home finished writing a verse, read, had lunch, took a nap and put another Gary Vee vid on.

Que nervous feelin’s (This just keeps happening)

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 My feelin’s – @professor_paul

I watched DailyVee 203 with Kyle iSPY. It was genuinely inspiring the talk that they were having about churning out songs. Write it, release and continue. Just to produce content with a slightly less focus on quality. That idea has been on my mind before, and I’ve wanted to achieve it so I certainly got excited. So much that I ran into my room busted open the new rhymes, played them to myself and was thinking I need to finish them ALL! NOW! (rabid rapper frothing at the mouth with rabies… that’s exactly what I looked like). And I noticed, I’m just throwing myself back into the pit of anxiety yet again! Expecting the world in one minute.

Dumb move, bro, chill.

I feel like @Garyvee keeps showing me that I’m in need of some serious re-alignment in my life. Not because I want to be @Garyvee, but because he hits home topics that I’m passionate about, and haven’t been working towards.
I truly thought before watching the video all was good, and then in 10 minutes I’ve lost the plot!

I may be wrong, but I believe this would turn most people off from watching @Garyvee videos if they experienced the emotional roller coaster I’ve taken the last three days. But to be honest, as shit, frustrating and unbelievably annoying it is to feel all shook up on the inside. He’s right. He’s so right. And thanks to him, I have realised what I want to work towards. It’s like jumping in a cold shower, right now I’m screaming!!! But give it some time and I will inevitably adjust.

Quick emotional update. After writing this blog in the peak of my frenzy, I’ve actually settled down, and believe I could make a rational decision. Genuinely I’m amazed. Because not only am I sharing my life with you right now but by vomiting my emotional intestines up I’ve seemed to work my way to some decent conclusions.

Re-evaluate what it is I’m trying to do with my life. Align myself accordingly. And watch more @Garyvee! That’s my direction.

What is it that you’re running from or too scared to face? Is it a serious conversation with your partner/boss, is it admitting that you want to take what you’re doing to the next level? Hit me up in the comments @professorpaulcrawls (Facebook) or on ‘Tooooomato’ (5o’s) (Snapchat) with your answers/stories.

I’ll never stop lovin’ you,
Professor Paul

 

My Creative Struggle – IV

Man, my ears are just poppin’ right now. By poppin’ I mean my head is feeling compressed, and it’s feeling compressed because I am officially on an aeroplane heading back the beautiful BNE.

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Funny story: I was taking pictures of the isle and the air host came along and made me delete them… I shat my pants and I literally made him stand there for 30 seconds to delete 2 photos cause I was fumbling so much. Professor Paul, straight up terrorist/Bad ass. 

This morning I was in bed at 12:30am after having a few drinks at the bar of the Hostel and playing some Jenga with some swaggy Brazilian peeps. It was mad because the blocks were huge and the fall was rather spectacular. However, I was totally set on getting some sleep so I resided.

Before checking out of the Hostel I made use of the pancakes (cause I felt like free food) and ended up running into WHAM! @yvonnechow who I’d met on Friday night when I was gettin’ my boogie on to Hip-Hop tunes (as I tend to do, something just get’s inside my legs and I like to uncontrollably bust it). We chatted and I invited her along to hang with me at my fave cafe @littleroguemelbourne for a coffee and croissant. Dope spot, and I must say I owe it all to Cam from Kiki K (didn’t get her IG, sad face). Her suggestion to check out the blue door in Drewery Lane has seriously inspired my creative resurgence (If I ever run into Cam again, I’m going to hug her). Like I described earlier, the cafe is Star Wars and Hip-Hop influenced with banging coffee (my kinda jam). We headed there and spent the morning just chilling. It was real cool to meet someone from the UK and have a decent conversation, musical tastes were shared and before I knew it I was catching the tram to the airport.

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“Hurry up with my damn croissant” 

One thing I noticed about this trip was how many foreign people I met. I know that I travelled to another Australian city but honestly coming back home I feel like I’ve been doused in European culture. I find myself referring to my shoes as daps, 7:30 as half seven and pronouncing Hostel as Hostil. I genuinely think I’m ready to be Stormzy. Where my polo sock?

In terms of my creativity, I still haven’t engaged in writing today, but I’m not stressing about it. I know that I’m dead keen to get into it and work on my tracks, however I don’t feel like I’m doing it for anyone other than me. I know that I’ve got to nurture myself back to good creative health, and I will admit I’m still a little tender. But I do believe that this experience has helped put me in a better situation than I was a week ago. I definitely owe that to meeting other creatives on this journey. The beauty of going to a place totally unknown and building friendships is so enriching, at least that’s how I’ve felt. Now when I think back to last Monday morning when I hesitated to jump on the plane because of the cost, I definitely think the $1000 was well spent. The fact that my creative self has been enriched to some degree is enough on it’s own.
Next time I think about jumping on a plane I’m going to take it more seriously.

I know that I’d love to travel/tour my music and go round the world with it, but also on a more personal level, travelling’s cool.

My journey has really only just begun, so stay tuned for my next update from Coorparoo, BNE via my social networks.

Peace and love to you,
Professor Paul

(I been getting some incredible responses lately, feel free to hit me up in the comments or a message on my @professorpaulcrawls Facebook page, would love to hear your stories)

My Creative Struggle – III

Howdy homes,

I’m back at it. I’m sitting down by the window of @metroburgers just outside Flinders Street Station. Conveniently located 20 metres from a @Doughnut_Time that’s neon sign is glaring in my glasses and tempting me hard while I’m typing this, so I may just out of the blue change direction in my writing. Don’t mind me I’ll snap back eventually.

Anyway, to catch you up on the last couple days I’ve been doing a fair amount here in Melbourne. As you know I’ve met my friends from Wales but the other afternoon I was finishing up some writing and wasn’t in a particularly good mood. However on my way home from the session I heard a busker I’d run into before who was just freestyling on the street with a cool chilled beat. Intrigued I sat and listened, and while I was there @_bigwords was just doing his thing pulling off a really cool Drake vibe with a caramel flavoured tone (as @_instagav put it!) and I couldn’t help but feel at peace just listening. It was almost comforting, seeing another creative bustin’ his nut for the love of Hip-Hop. It felt incredible. I would’ve been there for 15 minutes or so before WHAM! @puple_chief enters my life, takes a seat right next to me and as we shake hands, slowly we begin to converse with each other. This is about the point where I’ve totally forgotten about how frustrated I was with the writing session and got to really engaging in a great chat with a new buddy.

We chatted for a good while about music, diggin’ deeper he admitted that he is a producer (HELL YEAH!), and before I knew it I was walking around the city with him and his homies, all super into Hip-Hop and dedicated youngens like myself. WHAM @lordshvmmy yes lawd. This trip was really blowing my mind. So that ended up being rather rad in fact and over the next few hours we got into some really deep conversations about knowing your inner-self and how important it is to get to know your inner-self in a world where it isn’t a major priority.

This really set the tone for the rest of my trip I believe. Because focusing on my big goals made more and more sense, which made writing music slightly easier. Or at least when I was spending time doing it, I didn’t feel like it was a huge strain. Ultimately I love it.
Plus I found a cafe @littleroguemelbourne that just truly represents what I’m into. Rap and Star Wars… I could sleep and live off of their croissants and coffee my ENTIRE life. No problem.

Toilet Art
My mums favourite quote. Found it in the toilet @littleroguemelbourne


When they got cool ass Kanye and Jay Z portraits round the place and pop up Star Wars figurines and books in an aesthetically pleasing white and blue colour scheme it truly was a place I wanted to sit and make music in. So, tomorrow I’m going to sit down and spend the rest of my Melbourne time in there writing.

I’ve found that by focusing on my bigger goals, it’s made my anxiety subside which is what I said in the last post.
I truly wonder if it was that easy to overcome my feelings, but as the days keep rolling and I keep creating it seems to have done the trick. Truly I feel like I’m in a slightly better place now than what I was this time last week. I have no idea if the tracks I’m working on will amount to anything at all, but I’m just excited to be creating something. To be part of music. Not to mention I’m in Melbourne a truly kitsch place. I may live here one day even, but I feel this trip is just a taste of what I’m going to get when I visit New York or LA sometime. I’m excited to do it. I’m excited with everything to do with music. I just love. I love what I’m into. It’s hard sometimes, I’m still going to be blown off track, but experiences like these, meeting the people I have, I really want to remember it when I do get shaken up again.

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Amid – “That’s a pidgeon, what the fuck is plus, equals pidgeon?” (Chillin’ with the new gang before Good Friday)


I’ll keep you posted with the journey from here. Creativity is similar to life, never ending and constantly breathing as long as we’re here to bring it to life.

Big or small I love you all.

Professor Paul

p.s. still would love to hear if you’re a creative person struggling, or just a normal person strugglin’ in life. Drop me a skinny or phat comment/email.

My Creative Struggle – II

Welcome homie,

to pick up where I left off, I am still in the glorious city of Melbourne. And I say glorious because my eyes have just been opened to a different kind of living. I love it. So my day began at 5am. I woke and lied in bed as my other hostel roommates were still sleeping. I honestly haven’t been around long enough to actually meet any of the people in my room. A pattern is definitely forming, come home late, get up early and do cool stuff.

Anyway, I decided to trek down to Fitzroy again by foot to journal and grab a coffee. I was up so early that the street of Fitzroy was bare by the time I got there at 6am. So, what else did I have to do? Check out some cool graffiti and sit on a park bench to journal in the cool brisk air that makes a man wish he never had nipples. While I sat there I pondered the events of yesterday, trying to dig further still into my situation of struggling with anxiety. Something truly interesting arose, but I believe I ought to take you back to the unexpected events of last night in order to give better context of my headspace at this point. (And cause well last night was hella fun and I wanna tell ya ’bout it).

Rewind the clock to 5pm Monday the 11th and I’m walking round the city trying to snap a couple cool shots for the blog site I’d just setup, when out of nowhere I meet three dudes from Wales taking shots in a graffiti alleyway. Turns out they came over a few weeks ago and as a team are trying to up their photo game. WHAM, now introducing @_instagav, @_dillinger and @pineapplejamm to my life. After chatting to @_instagav about the shoot they were doing I asked if I could tag along for more of their photo adventure. One thing lead to another and we ended up on a rooftop bar in Melbourne havin’ a pint. Well, the boys were havin’ a pint. I had a pot (yup, I’m that dude). Amongst checking out the views like a lil’ kid I started to get to know my newfound fresh accented friends. They were actually doing some pre-shooting before meeting up with a couple models to take more shots later that night and I was just thinkin’ “this night couldn’t get any cooler”. (literally though).

So we wandered off the roof and hit the streets, tagging along I soaked up being with other creatives as much as I could. These guys were blowing my mind. After the boys tested some locations we met up with WHAM @chelsea.turnerr and @casey.s.ramsey  which involved more walking, more snaps and cool chats. For those that don’t know, I’m a fan of chats. I genuinely enjoy getting to know what others do in this world. Because I live a very specific life sometimes it’s hard to recognise that everybody else lives theirs so differently to my own, I’m rather intrigued. There’s not much more I can say about the experience of last night except I really got lost in it all and by the time we went our different ways it was that time, to grab a treat from @doughnut_time and crash!

Talk about unexpected.

Jump back to me on the bench freezing my nips off in Fitzroy. I’m journalling, and after this cool experience I’m already feeling rather enriched by life, but still there’s a gloom of anxiety present. Although hanging with the new crew distracted me in a good way, it only temporarily solved my problem. So I began discussing with myself what the last few weeks have been like, and I realised that I had failed to pay attention to the big goals in my life. I was getting carried away with seeing what other people were achieving and not setting my sights on what I was planning to achieve. Even though I new I needed to write more music I was losing sight of the end goal, which is to release a full length project. I had pretty much stopped paying attention to my PERSONAL end goals and therefore have been kind of directionless. I don’t know about you but when I feel directionless I get nervous, and when that feeling stays around it grows into anxiety. So I believe this was a rather big find for me. It lead to a bit of digging in terms of what my big goals were and have totally inspired me to make those goals really clear again.

This was incredibly freeing, because without bias I realised what my own goals were and it helped me to channel my energies deeper, and doing this made that voice saying “you’re not doing enough” go away. Because I knew that what I was doing in the day was helping me to build towards those things. Still, I’m uneasy to a degree and it’s early days, but it was a huge step forward.

This all happened before I got an incredible coffee, breakfast and sat in the stunning library to write a new verse. Also treated myself to new Nike’s (admittedly this decision was rather rash… I have a mild weakness for sneaks).

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The perfect remedy for frozen nipples. Plus, check those nuts! Made me dream of what heaven would be like.

 

The day then consisted of meeting up with the boys in Brighton beach, going for a swim in my underwear, because I only brought three shirts and a pair of Jeans to Melbourne (+ plenty of underwear DW). More frozen nips but a good hang non-the less.

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Taken by @_instagav, his gram is literally mind blowing. Stoked that he created this photo of me.

I’ve now decided it’s time to leave Chuckle Park and head home for a sleep.

Who knows what tomorrow holds, I’ll keep ya posted on my progress.

Your homie,
Professor Paul