Thursday 08/06/17 | 9:51am
On Tuesday this week I realised just how much shit I’m in. I haven’t done anything wrong in terms of law, but I really got some perspective on the mountain I’m trying to climb.
It all started when I decided to head to a free APRA night in the valley where some guest speakers talked about accounting and tax for musicians/bands. I was fine, managing to get my head around the tax wasn’t too tricky, but as soon as @deenamusic started her presentation on budgets I could feel the intensity rise in my stomach. She was so REAL! I loved it, not sugar coating a dollar. Her experience working with @thejunglegiants was used as an example and the numbers were crazy. It really opened my eyes. It really made me realise where I am right now. Grassroots. I’m talking, it costs $20+ thousand to tour kinda numbers, where you break even or lose money. That’s what I made last year working 2 to 3 jobs. I have a big climb ahead.
The hunger inside of me begun to grow. My bike ride home consisted of ‘I can do this’ chanting in the cold wind. There’s nothing I want to do more than make rap music that I can tour and share with others, which made me realise all of the challenges ahead have to be faced and have to be climbed. I don’t have another option. So I tell myself I can do it. Because I know that I can and I want to.
This morning has been tricky. I am making a commitment to posting daily on social media, something I’ve never done before, and it’s cool but on the inside I’m totally freaking. I can feel the growing pains from so many directions right now. Rap, Blog, Vlog, Social Media. It’s crazy. I find that all I can do is grit my teeth and keep going. It’s definitely fun, and I enjoy making stuff but it’s also extremely hard. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m literally just trying to better myself in every area I can.
I am smiling at the same time though, knowing that this is forcing me to grow is amazing. Because I’m out of my comfort zone, and that purely means I’m going to grow and I’m getting closer to that tour. I’m getting closer to that hit song. I’m getting tested. If I can push through this and the million other moments like it I can do anything. I already know that I can do anything.
If you see me looking all stressed out, I’m feeling intense but I am loving it. I couldn’t be more grateful for these challenges ahead of me. I am totally on the verge of crippling myself in copious amounts of escapism and binge eating, but I won’t. I will tough this out because that’s how my mum raised me, and what I’m fighting for is bigger than myself.
I’ve been reading ‘Jab, Jab, Jab Right Hook’ by @garyvee this week.
@_Instagav, @_dyllinger and @pineapplejam are still camping out in my lounge room. I love having them around. And also @carlostrebilcock has been an insane help getting ‘Life Of PP’ off the ground. 100. We’re all keeping it 100. Also, big love to @becshoots for capturing my latest single artwork with @seanbarness. Seriously excited to put ‘Nicotine Fiend’ on the table.
And you, thank you for reading some of my story. I hope you keep up with the weekly updates and find it valuable to your life.
Even though life is crazy, I love you,